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The Bear re: NFT, Beyond Good and Evil

. 3 min read
The Bear re: NFT, Beyond Good and Evil

People like the Bull don’t care about your feelings. People like the Bull just care about finding the biggest fool in the room, and making a quick buck off them while they laugh at you like you are a court jester with a foot stuck in the bucket who has just walked into a stray garden rake on the floor and also unexpectedly stubbed their toe on a coffee table and the toe is welling up and throbbing red like in a cartoon. People like us, the people in the world who actually WORK, and earn money, exist solely for their indulgence. And this bullshit with the NFT is no different.

Who is going to be the greater fool? Pray that it isn’t you.

I have learned after experiencing years of crushing disappointment at every turn in my life (nothing ever goes my way and often times it feels like the house is stacked against me, like I have been dealt a horrible hand in a  game of blackjack) to adopt a pessimistic view of the world in order to save myself the grueling pain of disappointment. Let’s jump into the reasons why I don't feel so good about NFTs.

If you read the Bull’s article, (which, on top of being barely readable, will also land them a life sentence in jail for criminal negligence, there is a pending investigation into their assets and I am confident they will be taken down) you probably remember they deemed  the NFT “a new method of ownership.” But what they failed to communicate is that if you misread an NFT contract, you’ll find the money in your portfolio sifting through your fingers like grains of sand that you find in the desert ground!

As of the time I write this, there are no laws that protect you as a prospective NFT buyer. If you buy an NFT that was minted by a particularly litigious scammer (i.e. someone without proper copyright for what they are selling you) you can have the rug pulled out from under you and find yourself destitute like a mummy in the desert that got spun and unraveled like in the old time movies. The value of an NFT is so woefully subjective that it would be a wiser use of your time and money to cancel your medical insurance, finance a brand new Jeep at 2.5% over 48 months, drive it off the lot with your seatbelt unbuckled, post your routing information and social security number online, and careen off a cliff.

The instant Boy George minted an NFT was the moment the movement died. The value of NFTs have already begun to pop like a bubble that is bursting at the seams, with prices down nearly 70% as of last week. So yes, It’s time to pack it in, the puppeteers of the world have reaped a strong profit on the market, and now gleefully sit upon their gilded thrones, joyously peering upon the Boy George’s of the world as they fling feces at each other, buying into yet another get-rich-quick scheme, while folks like me slowly build wealth through a fine-tuned, ceaseless sense of consternation, the type of discipline from which kingdoms arise.

*As you already know if you've been keeping up with The Bear's content, The Bear has a mattress full of cash and a middle school diploma. Unfortunately, these alone do not qualify him as a financial professional. If you’re looking for legitimate market advice, seek it elsewhere.

**The Bull and The Bear is a (Psy)Op-Ed column and does not reflect the views of Laid Off NYC’s editorial staff.